(資料圖)

　　笑話有時(shí)是本無其事的虛構(gòu)，甚至夸大到荒誕的地步。

　　最搞笑的英語小笑話大全

　　(一)

　　Wife"s Begging

　　妻子的祈求

　　Two men were talking at the break-room. One was telling the other about a fight he had had with his wife. "In the end"he said, "I had her begging on her knees."

　　兩位男士正在休息室淡論著。一位對(duì)另一位說起他與妻子的一場(chǎng)爭(zhēng)斗。他說：“最后，我迫使她跪下來求我?！?/p>

　　"What did she say?" asked the coworker.

　　“她怎么求你的?”另一位很好奇。

　　"She told me to come out from under the bed."

　　“她求我快點(diǎn)從床下爬出來?！?/p>

　　(二)

　　Reasons

　　理由

　　One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

　　一天清晨，媽媽去叫還在睡覺的兒子起床。

　　Mom: Wake up, son. It"s time to go to school.

　　媽媽:起來，兒子。去學(xué)校的時(shí)間到了。

　　Son: But why? I don"t want to go to school.

　　兒子:但是為什么?我不想去學(xué)校。

　　Mom: Give me two reasons why you don"t want to go to school.

　　媽媽:給我兩個(gè)理由，你為什么不想去學(xué)校。

　　Son: One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.

　　兒子:第一，所有的孩子都恨我。第二，所有的老師都恨我。

　　Mom: Oh! That"s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.

　　媽媽:哦!這不是理由。來吧，你必須去學(xué)校。

　　Son: Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?

　　兒子:那給我兩個(gè)為什么我要去學(xué)校的理由?

　　Mom:One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

　　媽媽:第一，你都52歲了，應(yīng)該明白自己的責(zé)任。第二，你是學(xué)校的校長(zhǎng)。

　　最搞笑的英語小笑話欣賞

　　(一)

　　A Gentle Reminder

　　委婉的提醒

　　Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we"ve been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"

　　結(jié)婚很久了，丈夫現(xiàn)在有時(shí)需要我委婉地提醒他一些特別的日子。在結(jié)婚35周年紀(jì)念日的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示他說:“親愛的，你意識(shí)到我們?cè)谶@兩個(gè)相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?”

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

　　他放下報(bào)紙，眼睛直直地望著我:“那么，你想交換座泣，是嗎?”

　　(二)

　　Three Men in a Boat

　　三人同舟

　　Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

　　三位男子在公園的長(zhǎng)椅土坐著。中間的一個(gè)在讀報(bào)紙，另外兩個(gè)在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，并卷線把魚抓上來。

　　A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

　　一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個(gè)景象，他問中間的那個(gè)男子是否認(rèn)識(shí)其他兩位。

　　"Oh yes," he said. "They are my friends”

　　“喔，認(rèn)識(shí)，”他說，“他們是我的朋友”

　　"In that case," warned the officer, "you"d better get them out of here!"

　　“那樣的話，”警察告誡說，“你最好把他們從這里弄走?！?/p>

　　"Yes, sir." the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

　　“好的，瞥官?！蹦悄凶踊卮鹫f，接著就開始瘋狂地做起劃槳的動(dòng)作來。

　　經(jīng)典的最搞笑的英語小笑話

　　Where Have You Been?

　　你去哪兒了?

　　Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with his little son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck. After a time,he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: "Have you seen my child"?" One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don"t you know he is on your neck?" Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the son, and then shouted: "I have told you not to go here and there. Where did you go just now?"

　　古時(shí)候，有個(gè)人總是忘事。一天，他帶著小兒子出門。一高興，便讓兒子騎在自己的脖子上。過了一會(huì)兒，他忽然想起兒子來，逢人便問間:“你看到我的孩子了嗎?”有個(gè)同村的村民見了大笑，說:“你難道不知道他在你脖子上嗎?”一聽這話，這人一把將兒子一從脖子上揪下來，氣憤至極，狠狠地打了孩子，嚷道:“我叫你別亂跑，剛才你到哪里去了?”